


For the Monsters That I've Been

by J (j_writes)



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-20
Updated: 2009-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-04 17:54:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/j_writes/pseuds/J
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brian stares at him emptily for a few moments before telling him he's doing all he can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For the Monsters That I've Been

It's Ray who finally pulls Brian aside and tells him that he has to do something. Brian stares at him emptily for a few moments before telling him he's doing all he can.

Ray gets this stricken look on his face and unexpectedly steps forward to wrap his arms around him. "I mean about Mikey," he says, "not Gerard."

Brian lets himself hug back for a moment or two, pressing his face into Ray's shirt and trying not to think at all, but eventually he has to pull back, straighten himself out, and sigh. "Yeah," he says. "I'll do what I can."

Some of it is easy to take care of. He moves into the other bed in the room that they're sharing and sprawls out there with his computer while the two of them curl up together on Gerard's bed. He brings them sandwiches and water, and gets them stacks of movies and comics, and every once in a while he'll convince one or both of them to get changed, or go stick their head in the sink if they won't actually manage to shower.

Mikey hasn't slept in days. Gerard sleeps constantly, in and out of fitful naps regardless of the time or what else is going on around them, but Mikey lies awake beside him, sometimes halfheartedly flipping through a comic or staring at the tv, but more often watching Gerard sleep, rubbing his back comfortingly when he twitches as he dreams.

"That's what you meant, wasn't it?" he asks Ray eventually, standing in the hallway with him and nodding through the doorway at Mikey, who is running his fingers idly thorough Gerard's hair.

"It's part of what I meant," Ray says.

A fight is the last thing any of them needs, so Brian waits until the next time Ray is in the room, stretched out on Brian's bed and playing his guitar lazily. Mikey gets up to go to the bathroom, and Brian corners him when he comes out, checking to see that Gerard is half passed out before saying quietly "I need to talk to you. In there," and pushing Mikey bodily towards the door to the adjoining room.

Mikey elbows him and ducks out of his grip, but Brian grabs him again and pushes him up against the wall, not hard enough to hurt, but with enough force to knock the breath out of him for a moment. "I will get Bob," he says in a low voice beside Mikey's ear. "But that'll wake Gerard up." He waits for Mikey to sag against the wall a little and nod before pulling back and letting him up, but he keeps his hand firmly against Mikey's back as he guides him out of the room.

"What the fuck?" Mikey asks him when the door is shut between the rooms. It hurts to hear how raw and tired his voice is. Brian pushes him backwards until Mikey's knees are bumping up against the bed, then easily tips him down onto it.

"You have to sleep," he says in his manager voice, the one none of them really know how to argue with.

Mikey just stares at him vacantly.

Brian sighs. "Look, I’m not trying to be an asshole. You're not taking care of yourself, and that's _fine_, that's expected when life sucks this much, but that's also why you have me around. So you're going to sleep, because you're no good to anyone—including your brother—when you're exhausted like this."

Mikey glares. "I'm always good for him," he says, but he hasn't tried to go back yet, so Brian's pretty sure he knows that Brian's not entirely full of shit.

They sit there for a few more minutes, Brian on the end of the bed, Mikey sprawled back against the covers where Brian had pushed him, until finally Brian crawls up the bed and tugs Mikey with him, curling up against the pillows. He's not very good at the snuggling thing, not like Frank or Ray, but it seems to be something that Mikey likes, so maybe it will help. They lie there for a while, wrapped awkwardly around each other, all elbows and knees and pointy hipbones in uncomfortable places before Brian laughs humorlessly against Mikey's neck.

"We kind of suck at this," he says, and Mikey makes a sulky noise of agreement, but tips his head a tiny bit, stretching in a way that bares his neck to Brian a little more. "Oh," Brian says quietly, lying there for a moment, his breathing a little harder, a little more concentrated against Mikey's skin, and he can feel Mikey shifting restlessly beside him. "Ok," he says thoughtfully. "Ok, yeah," and then he's leaning in, his mouth pressing hot and open against the spot on Mikey's neck just below his jaw, teeth grazing the skin there as Mikey makes a tiny startled noise.

"This?" he asks, not moving away, and Mikey doesn't say anything, doesn't look at him, just lies there with his head tilted back, breath uneven and loud in the empty room. Brian takes that as an agreement, and kneels up, pressing Mikey back into the bed, pinning his hands and leaning in to kiss him, all hard and biting and forceful like he's seen Mikey's girlfriends do when they're in the middle of a fight, and all of a sudden Mikey just _melts_ under him, sinking back into the bed, his body molding against Brian's effortlessly. His wrists twist out of Brian's grasp so he can slide his hands up the back of his shirt, callused and warm and curling desperately against Brian's ribs, pushing at the fabric, shoving at it impatiently until he gets the shirt up and over Brian's head. He uses his leverage against Brian's back to push him, roll them so Mikey's the one kneeling over Brian, leaning down to kiss him like he'd rather be hitting him instead.

Brian just lets Mikey hold him there for a while, kissing him back, biting at Mikey's neck, but eventually Mikey makes a frustrated noise into his mouth and Brian rolls them back over, their hands all over each other, tearing Mikey's shirt a little as he pulls it off. It's halfway between wrestling and fucking until Mikey starts grinding up against Brian's leg through their pants, and then it's all fucking.

He wraps his hands around Mikey's wrists and guides them to the headboard, holding them there until Mikey's eyes go dark and his fingers wrap into the slats, holding on. Brian takes his time getting them both out of their pants, biting along Mikey's thighs as he pulls them down his legs, watching the way his body twists as he arches up off the bed towards Brian's mouth. Brian leaves him sprawled out there, naked and desperate on the bed while he goes into his bag, and stands at the foot of the bed looking at him for a moment before Mikey lifts his head and glares impatiently. When Brian finally climbs back onto the bed, he flips Mikey over, hands hard enough against Mikey's hips to bruise, and Mikey stills, lying there face down against the pillows, panting and waiting.

Brian slides his hand down Mikey's back, slick with sweat, wanting to touch all that bare skin, wanting to have a time where he can kiss and bite every inch of him, but that's not what tonight is about. He slicks up a finger and slides it into Mikey, not being careful, not being slow. Not enough to hurt (because he'd never hurt any of them, even if it was what they wanted), but enough to be _felt_. Mikey hisses into the pillows, but is almost immediately begging for more. The second finger goes in almost as easily, and the third is a stretch, but Mikey's pressing back against his hand by that point, fucking himself onto Brian's fingers, his pleas reduced to wordless whimpering. He's pressing his cock against the bedspread with each thrust of Brian's hand, arching his back, and Brian wants so badly to kiss him, he looks so beautiful in his desperation, but instead he pulls out his fingers and sinks in, slowly and carefully this time, because as much as he knows what Mikey needs, he also knows what he won't give him. So he's slow and gentle, right up until until he's pressed tightly against Mikey's back, and Mikey's hand comes back to grab at his leg, pull him forward, beg him wordlessly to start moving.

He moves slowly at first, rocking against Mikey, wrapping an arm around him and holding them close together, their skin overheating where they touch. Mikey shoves back against him, wrapping his fingers around the headboard again for leverage, and Brian moves his grip back to Mikey's hips, fucking him smoothly, gradually getting faster and harder. Mikey buries his face against the bed, tiny noises escaping every so often, his hips meeting every thrust of Brian's body.

Brian has to pull himself back a few times, keep himself from coming from the feeling of Mikey tight around him, the sight of him spread out on the bed, fucking himself back onto Brian's cock, but he manages it until it gets too much and he gasps out "_Mikey_" into the quiet room. Mikey's hand comes off the headboard and slides down between him and the bedspread, but he doesn't come until Brian wraps his arm around him again, pressing his face to Mikey's back and biting the skin there, holding the two of them together. Then Mikey comes fast and hard, crying out into the sheets, tightening around Brian, and it's only a few more thrusts before Brian's following him, sucking a mark into Mikey's back to keep himself quiet.

Mikey collapses against the bed, and Brian flops onto him for a moment or two before rolling off, cleaning them both with his shirt and tucking Mikey under the covers. Mikey reaches out for his wrist, though, and doesn't let go until Brian's curled up beside him in the bed.

"I think," Mikey says wearily, "I think I can sleep now," and Brian doesn't even bother to reply, because within moments, Mikey is passed out against his side, his breath hot and even where his head rests on Brian's shoulder.

Brian lies awake and curls his fingers through Mikey's hair, watching the lines of worry fade from his face as he sleeps.


End file.
